1. i thought it less like a lake and more like a moat [video; open]

[iwatchtjhooker]

Dean?

[Sam is looking a little befuddled, but not like he just now arrived. It's merely the face of concentration as he tries to work out what's happened. And how this thing works; he's managed not to lock it to Dean alone, because he's still thinking of it as a phone.]

Look, I don't know what's going on here, and I'm not sure exactly what I'm looking at, but it looks like you're here and have been for awhile. Not sure what that means, but if you're out there, I'd really like to know, man.

[He bites his lip.]

Oh and I can't find your car.

Comments

[trollsbackwards.livejournal.com]

WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT.
WE'RE JUST SOME WRIGGLERS THAT STARTED PLAYING THIS MESSED UP GAME.

[iwatchtjhooker]

Not really up on the slang, I guess. This isn't a game.

[trollsbackwards.livejournal.com]

CULTURE SLANG, REALLY.
I WOULDN'T EXPECT A HUMAN TO KNOW OR ACTIVELY USE HALF OF WHAT WE SAY TO EACH OTHER.
IT'S SOMETHING THAT I HAVE LEARNED TO FUCKING EXPECT.
BUT, I KNOW THIS ISN'T A GAME, BROODMATE OF ARROGANT DOUCHEBAG.
WE WERE PLAYING IT BEFORE SHOWING UP HERE, DOING SHIT LIKE SO MANY OTHERS.
ACTUALLY, I'VE BEEN HERE FOR NEARLY HALF OF A SWEEP
WHICH IS, FOR YOU, A YEAR JUST ABOUT. I'M LIKE THREE MONTHS SHORT OF IT?

[iwatchtjhooker]

Right. So you're not human.

And you know, my name's Sam. You can just use that.

[trollsbackwards.livejournal.com]

YOU BET YOUR FUCKING NUBS I'M NOT HUMAN.
YOU'LL FIND THAT THERE ARE MANY, MANY PERSONS HERE THAT AREN'T, SAM.
IT'S JUST GETTING FUCKING USED TO SHARING THE SAME AIR, THAT'S ALL.
AS FOR ME?
IT'S KARKAT.

[iwatchtjhooker]

Karkat. Nice to meet you. [Or something.] Do you mind my asking what you are then, if you're not human?

[trollsbackwards.livejournal.com]

YEAH, SURE.
ARADIA, ERIDAN, SOLLUX, VRISKA, AND MYSELF ALL HAPPEN TO BE TROLLS.
DON'T GET IT IN YOUR FUCKING PAN THAT WE'RE THE BRIDGE DWELLING OR DROOLING MOUNTAIN TYPES.
WE'RE NOT EVEN ASSOCIATED WITH SOME FICKLE HUMAN MYTHOLOGY THAT CAN'T MAKE UP THEIR GODDAMN MINDS ON HOW TO TELL A TALE.
IN ALL ACTUALITY, WE'RE FROM A PLANET CALLED ALTERNIA IN A UNIVERSE IN WHICH HUMANS AND EARTH DO NOT EXIST.

[iwatchtjhooker]

I think that's sort of the point of stories. And most of them have a little truth, but not all of it.

Anyway.

Are Humans mythical in your world?

[trollsbackwards.livejournal.com]

NO, THEY'RE NOT MYTHICAL.
SHIT, WE NEVER EVEN HEARD OF HUMANS UNTIL WE
UH.
WELL, UNDERSTAND IN OUR JOINT UNIVERSES, THERE'S A VERY COMPLICATED PROCESS OF BIRTHING NEW UNIVERSES.
SO, WE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT HUMANS UNTIL WE CREATED THEIR EXISTENCE.
FUCK, I KNOW THAT DOESN'T MAKE MUCH SENSE, BUT IT'S THE TRUTH.
IT'S A TRUTH THAT DOESN'T APPLY TO ALL REALITIES, BUT IT'S TRUE FOR THE SIXTEEN OF US.

[iwatchtjhooker]

You created humanity.

No, that doesn't make much sense.

[trollsbackwards.livejournal.com]

WE CREATED THE UNIVERSE IN WHICH HUMANITY EXISTS IN, SO BY PROXY, YEAH.
DON'T BE SO FUCKING INCREDULOUS.
I DIDN'T SAY IT WENT FOR EVERY GODDAMNED REALITY OUT THERE.
IT'S JUST OUR PORTION OF PARADOX SPACE OPERATES LIKE THAT.
YOU PLAY A GAME THAT ULTIMATELY KILLS OFF YOUR ENTIRE FUCKING PLANET AND YOUR PRIZE FOR WINNING IS TO START OVER IN A UNIVERSE OF YOUR OWN DESIGN.

[iwatchtjhooker]

No offense, but that sounds like a crappy game.

[trollsbackwards.livejournal.com]

IT IS.
THE PROBLEM IS, WE DIDN'T KNOW THAT WHEN WE STARTED PLAYING.
MEGIDO MIGHT HAVE, BUT YEAH.
NO ONE ELSE.

[iwatchtjhooker]

Oh, so it's like... Jumanji or something. That sucks, man.

[trollsbackwards.livejournal.com]

JUMAMJI?

[iwatchtjhooker]

Yeah, it was a movie. Or a book. Or something. There was this game and it came to life and these animals...

Okay it wasn't really anything like that.

[trollsbackwards.livejournal.com]

NOT EXACTLY, NO.
WE DID HAVE A LOT OF IMPS AND DENIZENS, THOUGH.

[iwatchtjhooker]

I have no idea what that means, but I'm guessing that's true for most of what you say.

[trollsbackwards.livejournal.com]

...AND JUST HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TAKE THAT.

[iwatchtjhooker]

That I'm ignorant of the place you're from?

[trollsbackwards.livejournal.com]

I'VE GOT MY EYE ON YOU.

[iwatchtjhooker]

Yeah, I seem to have attracted a lot of attention.

[trollsbackwards.livejournal.com]

ARE YOU EVEN REMOTELY SURPRISED?

[iwatchtjhooker]

Not particularly, but it's weird.